jilted

i've spent so much of this precious day worried. i've been crying my eyes out, for what? i dont even know anymore. I feel so jilted. My body won't even follow my orders now, I'm just a blobbbbbbb. fuck this shit. i hate you i hate you. you're so selfish and you can't even see!

I'm sick

I took nighttime theraflu during the day so now I'm a bit loopy. I want to sleep but I shouldn't. I should shower and get ready for backpacking. I'm really excited, but I'm afraid I'm going to slow everyone down bc of my cough and cold symptoms. 

Last night was gooooood bonding with the roommates. I'm afraid that I'm not there at the house as often bc I'm always at Vu's place, therefore I'd lose touch with my roommates, but yesterday was a good checkpoint to see that I'm still there. I apologized to Vu's roommates for always crashing at their place, it must be annoying, i know. : /

I see all the "drama" that's happening and some things are just so whack... so unimportant, I dont understand why people still hold onto it. I KNOW, gossiping is fun and can start convos, but honestly, the destructive cycle has to end at some point. People will realize soon that they're just wasting their time, but for the meantime, it's all good? -_-. There's enough to worry about, why let another sore subject bring you down? Let it gooooooooo. 

chemistry

I got a road bike : ) i want to call it unnie! It's a girl. 

I am an insanely jealous person. Note, person, not JUST girlfriend. I obviously know that I get jealous of vu's flirtatiousness with other people (mainly girls), but I get jealous of my friends. It's so disgusting, that's another thing I hate about myself. When this jealousy gets to the brim, I lash out at that person by belittling her. It's so... UGH. I can't believe I can't control myself, to keep it in. Instead, I become the big bitch. I still wince at the tone that she gave me when I said all those mean things. Now I sulk at my desk. -_- this happened more than once too! Damn, I'm a horrible friend. Jesus christ. I'm sorry. I do it to everyone... after rereading this post... wtf is wrong with me. I'm going to stop this madness and become more supportive!

Sorry Alice and Linh. 

Lately I've been really clingy and needy. I don't know why. I'm just scared that he's slipping away from me.

I want a bike!!!!